ANBU Brightside
by Kaki-kun
Summary: The annual ANBU tests are here and Itachi is down to the last challenge. But, coming to an abrupt conclusion, he decides that sometimes it's better to fail as long as you're not alone in the Shadows. Homohetero, KakaIta RR
1. Want it All

The ANBU training tests were held annually on one of the coldest times of the year. This logic, as to be expected, was not any surprise to the cadets. The bitter unforgiving wind bit and gnashed violently at their skin as they pursued targets, stalked in the snow covered trees silently, and made the kill as simply as they could in front of their peers and older member's critical gaze. Faults were not tolerated. Failure was not tolerated. Compassion was not tolerated. The only thing they expected from them was cold, ruthless killers who efficiently went about destroying their object at hand.  
Morals and dreams had no place on the ANBU corps. What happened there, stayed there, it was code of law.

This may be how Itachi managed to stay _relatively_ sane in Konoha all those years.

**_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all _**

**_

* * *

_**

**Shadow.**

His name here was shadow. It was well fit too, a perfect glove for the cold hand. He moved past people like their shadow, watching from a world entirely different from their own. Dark, forboding, always trailing just after them, watching, waiting. No one would ever know when the shadow would leave, when it would run freely into the darkness of night, casting aside it's boundaries and thirsting for the blood that it clentched in it's fingers. It killed to sedate that thirst in the darkness and when the sun would rise again, he would slowly trail behind once more, silent and dead, waiting for the opportunity to attack it's next prey.  
His style said it all. He was _the_ ANBU **Shadow**.

Itachi stalked into the room silently, staring at the empty desk about 3 feet from him. A pillar of smoke erupted, engulfing the desk in a pseudo, a false, flame, an illusion or terror to the untrained eye that could engulf your life in a second. Then, it vanished in a flash, as sudden as it had arrived, leaving behind a white spirit in its singeing wake. The white spirit, in the form of a man taller and with more physical frame than Itachi, stood before him behind the desk. He leaned forward, soundless eyes fixing on Itachi's freezing orbs.

"You're down to the last test of the year, Itachi."

Itachi acknowledged his statement with silence, moving one, two, three steps forward up to the desk and grasping his identity fully in the fingers of his left hand. Pulling it back up to him and flipping it around to the other side, the side he had memorized every nook and cranny in from having to stare at its backside so long, he measured the weight, the burden, of his plight this time.  
It was recognized that there was much irony to traditional beliefs about the ANBU masks, their color was exact, pure, holy, beloved. Letting the hue of innocence rest on the outside, the attempt was to thwart such trivial burdens from the mind of the ANBU, let them rest in their dark hallow frame behind the white.  
Everyone in this world of the shinobi recognized that angels of death descended in white.

The weight, surprisingly, was light today to Itachi. The wooden carved and delicately glossed mask caved into the importance, the relevance, of his missions, and he could, normally, feel the presence pounding the mask down. His eyebrows narrowed, from suspicion and curiosity, while turning back up to his superior before him. The man brought his hand out above the table, scroll being held firmly in his palm, extended out to the Uchiha.  
Itachi stared at it, as if he had been very precarious about accepting it to those who did not understand that it was merely his habit alone that kept him staring at things for hours on end, no point of being for such waste of time, and, uponrealizing it, neither cared about how foolish it was or bothering to stop the cherade. Then, took it with the other hand, the man disappeared in a flash whenthe Uchihatouched the scroll and a whiff of ash encircling the room of burnt ember. Itachi moved the cover up to his face, gently laying it on.

By putting on one mask, he was taking down all others as the bloodthirsty eyes of **Shadow** stared at the ANBU corps walls, disappearing into the darkness.

---

-

**Shadow** stared at the inside of the closet long and hard, occasionally shifting his gaze outside the marginal crack to the outside world, to see what there was to see. The floor was a little cluttered with papers, the bed was in a strangling mess under the blanket and pillow, entangled in a knot. A few paintings hung on the walls, sad and silent from beind overlooked and ignored for, apparently, a very long time.  
It was cozy inside, not too cold, not too warm, but even this is a relief from ducking underyard-longicicles.  
Well, that still depended on who was the oneducking. **Shadow **didn't care either way, he just hoped this would be over with soon. Soft winter light continued to pour in from the window, orange in hue, symbolizing near dusk in one manner or another. The entire house remained deadly still, a mystery as to whether it was the fault of **Shadow's** presenceor a lack of movement in the air.

His sharingan suddenly activated without warning as his eyes narrowed. Across the room and down the hallway, the front door shifted, keys jingling as cold fingers fumbled with the match, clicking the lock open...

* * *

This probably won't make sense for a while. But something will, eventually. Review please! 


	2. A Kiss

The ANBU was the definition of the criminally insane. Each one of them stronger, fiercer, than any jounin or, possibly, any sannin. Anyone who willingly went through the grueling training, the mental anguish, on a day to day process couldn't be sane enough to run a village and this is why that, after the ANBU was first created, the elders forbid any ANBU or retired ANBU to ever take the position of Hokage. Everyone in the corps may have a desire to fulfill, but it never involved becoming more active in the community, so the concept was easily accepted.  
But yet they had to be involved so their identities wouldn't fall into question. Rumors or not, it was a serious deal when a shinobi was inquired or accused of being in the ANBU.

It's easy to say such a task is difficult, and many avoided even coming back by trying to get their human selves of the Konoha community "pronounced dead" to the overbearing eyes while remaining in the murky depths of the ANBU. This never worked of course because the ANBU was strict that everyone had to have a place to return and rest when missions were done.  
So, the irritating question to all of them was this: how do adroit killers, who were the epitome of sociopathic, adapt to their surroundings and delude an entire village of people?

Some ANBU became friends amongst each other and went out to have fun on some nights, appearing as innocent as any group of pals, only with a very dark connection that wasn't present to the world. Some put on a façade and, most of the time, avoided social gatherings to keep to themselves, insisting that they weren't "people persons", while under their breath commenting exactly to what extend. Some took a few B and A ranked missions while snapping and hissing at people on the streets, so that they wouldn't question the ANBU's place as a shinobi and wouldn't dare mess with them for their lives.

But this was simply the majority of solutions that was obvious. Uchiha Itachi never had to concern or bother with this proclamation to society because the most Uchiha joined the ANBU at one point, including his father, so it was code that Uchiha would know and acknowledge amongst themselves of the secret.  
Itachi didn't have to bother with friends which was just as good with him as his job.

Though, no one ever mentioned anything he was about to see. Maybe because he was too young, maybe because no one expected him to encounter such a thing or expected him to die before such a thing ever gave him an option. Nonetheless, against Itachi's back, it was even more widely known to the ANBU as any of the other three social dwelling options.  
Living on the edge and flirting with death wasn't just an "inside the ANBU" code.

* * *

**_It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this  
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss _**

Hatake Kakashi, being previously ANBU corps team leader and valued asset to the team for three years running now, recognized that he was more than obligated to duck out of the tests. Not because he necessarily had to take them and not because the tests were boring in any sense, but mostly the reason was this was, in his opinion, the time for senior ANBU to get whatever of a vacation they could. There were never any breaks for them, except for the occasional random day off or trip to the hospital for wounds.  
Possibly one of the smaller reasons most fresh and junior members resigned before the end of the year.  
So he knew they wouldn't hassle him. There were enough people participating in judging and criticizing the fresh and junior ANBU.

---

-

Kakashi stumbled through the doorway, dragging along a fair hand; light, delicate, soft. The women followed in behind him while slipping off her coat, tossing it on the rack next to her, ignoring how it missed and hit the ground instead. Her skin was pale, yet radiated a warm glow as her sly eyes danced with matching seductive smile. She pushed forward, meeting Kakashi's face despite the mask and running her free hand through his silver locks, tongue rubbing up against the mask and desiring to be on the other side. He let go of her hand momentarily to pull off his scarf, which was starting to strangle him, and boots then wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her with him far enough to the bedroom.  
Inside, he pulled down his mask and locked lips with hers, finally exploring her mouth as her long glossy blonde hair wrapped around his face. The women moaned in pleasure while closing her eyes, feeling around and finally grasping the zipper to his jacket, unfastening it, slipping it off of his shoulders. She inhaled the intoxicating and distinctive aroma of hot sake as he moved back from their kiss and around to gently nibble and suck on her earlobe. His jacket hit the floor as they both hit the bed.

**_Now I'm falling asleep  
And she's calling a cab  
While he's having a smoke  
And she's taking a drag  
Now they're going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it's all in my head  
But she's touching his—chest  
Now, he takes off her dress  
Now_**

This behavior was another thing no one would have expected from the cream de coup of assassin, but, on the contrary, it was very much embraced by many of the ANBU members.

And no one told Itachi.

So there _Shadow_ stood, silently in the darkness of the closet across from them, observing every touch, every sound of pleasure and love ringing in his ears, their clothing carelessly flying to the floor and bodies rubbing and finding consolation inside the other, then he suddenly realized, as if it never dawned on him, that he was very alone and cold. Even killers could feel the warmth of another body pressing down from above, not in a threatening way at all, but one that makes blood rush to their heads and body arch with ecstasy, makes those with cold blood and not a nerve to react in pain on their body burn with hot fire and passion.

So there _Shadow_ stood, silently in the darkness of the closet across from them, angry at himself for feeling anything over a mission that was supposed to be so simple and here he was _longing_, something he only recognized to go with a crave for power, yes, he wanted to be there instead of that blonde women that Kakashi would probably never see again or recognize again as anything but a civilian to protect with the country. And he wanted the sudden strain on his groin to go away and he wanted this mission to be over with because it was going on far too long for his comfort. He wanted to know why his body trembled when he had trained so feverously and painstakingly to become detached from emotion and why he couldn't bear to close his eyes when Kakashi pushed inside, _Shadow_ just wanted to make that heat seeping into his body to go away.

**_Let me go_**

* * *

Note: I tend to plan things out too detailed in my head and this is how the ANBU classes work:  
ANBU in training: Fresh ANBU  
ANBU under a year: Junior ANBU  
ANBU over a year: Senior ANBU 

Also, Itachi, so I've heard, joined the ANBU at the youngest age of 13, which makes it so that he's 14 now and he kills his clan when he was 17 (17 I've also heard).  
And Kakashi is Genin by 4, Chuunin by 6, Jounin by 13, and I have him join ANBU at 14, so technically he's 17 now, quits ANBU when he's 19 (after Itachi kills off his clan) then 7 years goes by and he's 26 when he takes up Team 7. I do realize that if Kakashi is 19 when Itachi kills the clan, Itachi _should_ be 16, but since it's that small of a detail, I'm going to say Itachi's birthday is before September 15th. If anyone knows Itachi's birthday- tell me!

Wow, do I over think things or what? Nyu.

Yeah, I guess they're both minors. Oh well. -shrug- Better than age difference of KakaSaku KakaSasu and KakaNaru fics. They're ANBU, they can do what the fuck they want. Literally.  
Please review!


	3. Taking Control

Kakashi never got in trouble for being late on ANBU missions. Never. It was an impossibility. Even before he became a renowned senior. Sure, it would irritate the hell out of his comrades, some of them always furious enough to want to slit his throat; after all, there wasn't any rhyme or reason to each of their sanity, some of them able to completely snap for anything, but it was just something that ended up bugging the Sharingan user. It was his way of reenacting his best friend's death, the stupid idiot of a ninja that ended up teaching Kakashi a more valuable lesson than any Chuunin or Jounin, even the Hokage, could've done by trying to drill it into his head.  
The value of a life.

But the ANBU was anti-life. Everyone in the ANBU was dead in one way or another, socially, mentally, spiritually, so "protecting a comrade" was thrown out. Especially since most of the time the people they were hunting was, at one point or another, their comrade. It wasn't easy watching their blood splattering across the white porcelain chest plate, bodily fluids clinging to them as the last reminder of their soul existing on this plane, and the repugnant odor of burning flesh.  
Remembering who they used to be. Their comrades.

The only way Kakashi could possibly honor Obito's loyalty to Rin, and, well, himself, who he so much detested and despised, to honor his sacrifice in the ANBU was to continue his lackadaisical attitude to the rules.  
Being late.

And no one cared like Kakashi cared when Obito was alive. The ANBU just shrugged it off nonchalantly.  
That really pissed off Kakashi. The point was, _someone_ should've cared.  
_Someone_ should've bothered themselves enough to _care_. At the same time as being angry, Kakashi scoffed at himself for being so stupid for demanding in his mind that these merciless killers _care_ about anything, especially regarding a past life.

In spite all of this, and being the naturally curious shinobi he was, he finally went to take his complaint to someone, at least he thought, would _act_ like they would listen.  
They didn't but the nicer option they offered was a simple answer.

"Time is a figment of man-made self-interest," ANBU Shred said simply while glossing his mask. "It's just something we made up to explain everything that follows suit."  
And Kakashi understood. Because the focus of it all, the point of ANBU's feral nature, was to detach oneself from being human.  
The gist of it, that is.

It really irked Kakashi.  
And, somehow, was the only hint ever given to him that he really didn't belong here.

Inhuman or not, they all breathed the same air, they all feel the same warmth of the sun no matter if they hid in the shadows or not. They could eat flesh, they could howl and coon savagely into the moon's light all they wanted but deep down there was the pain of loss. The pain of regret and helplessness to circumstance.

In a lot of ways, Kakashi hated being an ANBU merely for the code he had to act out.

---

-

_Shadow_ couldn't remember a time when _he_ was in this much strain ever in _his_ entire life. Hell, even as Itachi he didn't remember being in this much pain ever before.

It had been hours now. _He_ couldn't have been completely sure, because time seemed to move much slower when things are excruciatingly difficult, but it had to have been for they collapsed in a sweating heap on top of each other, their passion only able to continue through their locked lips and trailing tongues. The thought made _him_ shiver uncontrollably, _his_ own body crying out for release of the heat that had built up, but _he_ refused icily while digging _his_ nails into the sides of _his_ arm in some hope to abide it.  
_He_ couldn't fail such an easy mission like this. _He_ simply couldn't. Not only because it was _his_ final task, that should've been unimaginably simple in every way, but because _he_ was unraveling and that was the very thing he couldn't allow to happen. _Shadow_ had to be cold. _Shadow _was not allowed to feel warmth, desire, signs of life and any association to being human.

This couldn't be happening.

_**I just can't look  
It's killing me  
And taking control**_

Kakashi let out a content sigh as he watched his partner, or hardly his partner he mused silently, as she pull herself out of bed wearily and threw her clothes back on. Her body, in its peak of ecstasy, obviously resisted the motions against sleep through her lethargy but she knew she could not stay. One night stand. That was all it was and all it ever could be. They came, they fucked, they went. And they never meet again. It didn't matter whose face it was in the end, didn't matter who did the screaming or sounded like they died from the climax because in the end there was no point and there'd never be a memory of the encounter ever recorded in the mind. A fleeting moment of pleasure, a fleeting moment of lust that would subside over time. Just like life, give it a few years and no one will know you for your heart.  
Just for the space that should've held a heart. For the blood you were able to draw from the enemy.  
Kakashi learned this from the White Fang, and, as hard as it was to swallow, he took it in, just like any shinobi must.

And he also knew that he couldn't handle commitment. Not the true shinobi, not an ANBU, because commitment meant there was another conflicting force against their loyalty to the village.  
Kakashi had wondered, sometimes, if it was okay if two shinobi could work being together and be able to counter balance this but he figured, in the end, it just showed that they weren't Konoha shinobi deep at heart, that they were humans who loved each other and the village all at once.

Nights like these show he could do without their semblance, their theory of love, and still get his piece of the action.  
The door behind the women closed and silence drifted over the room behind the lull of sweat that had managed to cling to the air. His eyes slowly, drew upon a detail that stood openly in the center of his room, at the edge of the bed.  
A shadow of a being with a mask pure as a newborn babe just for sheer contrast.

He paused on the figure, through the darkness absorbing the sight of the other boy; no, he was a man, he had long left the blissful world of childhood.  
Never breaking the silence except for their breaths, surprising more labored for both shinobi, Kakashi sat up and stared at the holes in the mask. At pools of pitch black that one would think to be eyes.

"Shadow."

**_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea,  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Chocking on your alibis_**  
---

-

_He_ had no clue what _he_ was doing, standing there point blank before _his_ target. The mission was so simply, unbelievably simple; its entire presence insulted _him_ beyond belief.  
A mission so unworthy of_ his_ talent and yet_ he_ had just admitted defeat to it.  
Somehow, this mission turned to be much more than he had ever expected of it.

"K," _his_ voice rested upon the association, a low growl through clenched teeth behind _his_ mask. He hesitated, drawing another shaking breath "Kakashi-san…"

His superior before him frowned in obvious concern. The gesture only made _Shadow_ seethe more in anger and heat as it pooled around his thighs and groin. His sempai should not feel this way toward himself, as another ANBU. He should not feel this kind of pain and fluttering emotions as if he were a child! He cursed himself mentally over and over, repeating meditative chants he had learned from other Uchiha in hope that he could just fade away in his mind and emerge somewhere else physically.  
Ultimately, his body refused, hand balled into a fist at his side and the other lingering up to his mask and pulling it down from his face.

Weaker than ever before, exposed to the world, and no longer able to hide the wave of pain engulfing him, the mask slipped from his hand and fell to the ground.

**_  
But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me_**  
**_Open up my eager eyes_**  
---

-

Silence overcame the room once more as Itachi trembled, eyes fixed to the floor in overwhelming shame and inadequacy before his superior.

And finally, Kakashi saw his eyes behind the mask, they were so young, too young to have carried the complete Sharingan. It was a horribly malicious fact, and seeing through to a similar boy like himself who had grown up far too fast for his own good. Now the boy was left alone in the world, enduring bitter winter for what will be the rest of his life. But this boy, who had thought of as a man and looked down upon with condemnation at him for his plight into the ANBU, was opened through his quiet shivers. There was pain and suffering, inside these eyes, and regret, there was so much lamenting Kakashi felt he would drown just watching the boy.

Despite the pity he felt, Kakashi beamed with unnamed delight, leaning over nearby the bedside to turn on a light.  
"I'm glad you've finally decided to come out, Shadow."

Itachi's exposed, embarrassed, eyes slid up to Kakashi, confusion adding the collage of feeling and excitement.  
"You knew… I was hiding…?" The older ANBU smiled acceptingly, another feeling choking Itachi from his words, and slowly moved across his bed to the foot, before him, wrapping his arms around him. Pulled him down into the bed and breathing into the nape of his neck, Kakashi stroked his bangs from his hot face.

"I always know my shadow is near."

__

'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside


End file.
